Godzilla (for crazy people)

Godzilla
No stars.

This movie was disgusting. Absolutely depraved. The audience is left wondering if we are just as monstrous as the blasphemously named creature.

The gay agenda, the pro-abortionists, the LIE-berals, they will eat this trash right up.
First of all, the HollyJews cast Bryan Cranston, a man who is known for playing "men" who are unable to provide adequately for their families.

Then, they make the American Military, the only reason that we are free, look completely incompetent. Not only are the weapons useless against the monsters, the people behind this garbage have the audacity to claim that dropping atomic bombs on Japan was a bad idea. Do you know how many people that saved? It saved you, for one. (If you can call living in this day and age "living", what with our morals going down the toilet)

But what really sickens me is how the movie ends.

G*dzilla (I don't want to risk blasphemy any more than I have to) is chasing a monster that only wants to meet his wife.

This MUTO wants to raise a family. A stable, loving, and, most importantly, HETEROSEXUAL family.

G*dzilla wants to stop this. And where does this happen?

In San Francisco, of course.

That's right. This beast kills a heterosexual family in San Francisco. And a member of the new gay military kills the children.

It doesn't end there. Of course not.

The depraved citizens of New Sodom actually cheer the giant sin monster after he kills the heterosexual monsters. And the lamestream media has the gall to name G*dzilla "King of the Monsters".

The gays aren't even trying to hide their agenda against families, traditional values, and America anymore.

Thanks, Obama.

Godzilla

Godzilla
Rated PG-13 (destruction and 'splosions)
Directed by: Gareth Edwards
Written by: Dave Callaham (Story) and Max Borenstein (Screenplay)
***1/2 out of ****

Godzilla is not Pacific Rim, and that's good.   I loved del Toro's love letter to anime for what it was: one hell of a fun time. It was stupid for all the right reasons and in all the right ways. It was giant robots punching giant monsters, it looked great, it had just enough story to... set up the punching? It was a live-action cartoon.

Godzilla was always something more. At its core, it was a cautionary tale about atomic weapons (the dumbest thing we have ever come up with as a species). Yes, the later films were campy, and the rubber suit was laughable, but, he had some sort of dignity.

I think I saw the Roland Emmerich excrement with Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno and an indestructible taxi cab using a free pass, and I still wanted my my money back. There was nothing good about it. I'm still baffled as to how you make a movie with a giant monster in it boring.

I'm hesitant to call this Godzilla a reboot. I mean, it is, but it's not. It's more of a reinterpretation, like Burton's Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (which I thought was hands-down a better movie than the original).

In this latest version, it wasn't humanity's hubris that created monsters. They are ancient, like younger versions of Lovecraft's Great Old Ones. They are creatures that consume radioactivity. When Earth was younger, it was "hotter". As this radiation dissipated, they adapted and went underground or underwater, where the radiation would be more plentiful. Hiroshima didn't make the monsters (and I am trying so hard to not make a Twilight Zone joke here); it merely showed them that pickins were good on the surface again.

In 1999, Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) was working at a Japanese nuclear reactor. Some... thing... that looked like an earthquake was heading towards the reactor. Meanwhile, Dr. Ichiro  Serizawa  (Ken Watanabe) found that some... thing... was headed towards Japan from the Philippines. (The two things were the same thing.)

The reactor was destroyed, the town evacuated, and a no-man's-land grew in the quarantine zone.  (Cranston) felt something was fishy, and was arrested for trespassing in the zone. His son Ford  (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) a Navy Lieutenant, had to leave leave to bail him out, flying from San Francisco to Japan. This sets in motion the human part of the story. It's an important distinction.

The core of the story here is not that we make monsters or anything like that. The tale is not a parable or fable. We aren't meant to learn, or change our ways or face dire consequences. It's actually much more... Cynical is the wrong word. So is pessimistic. Realistic? The movie has giant monsters. Not symbolic monsters, not Monsters of the Id. Actual giant monsters.

Godzilla is a force of nature, like a hurricane or a tornado. Earthquakes are not mad at California. Godzilla is not an enemy of humanity. He is, at best, indifferent to us.

That's one of the things that this version gets right. Godzilla's story happens regardless of the story of the human characters.

This isn't to say that the human characters are undeveloped. They aren't. I mean, they aren't the deepest, but, there is enough humanity there to latch on to. Just not enough to hate. There are kids in the movie, but not annoying ones. We aren't subjected to heavy-handed reunion scenes, or emotionally manipulative music cues. There aren't any silly heroics, or sacrifices, or speeches. The movie is not emotionless, though. It is simply matter-of-fact. About giant monsters.

The monsters are not given characters, but we project "good" and "bad" on to them, and I found myself changing allegiances more than once.

The effects are good, as would be expected. Stylistically, however... I don't know if it was a choice, or coincidence, but the digital mattes looked delightfully like the miniatures in the Toho productions. And the scale of the monsters was, thankfully, consistent.

Godzilla wasn't campy, or grim and dark, or overwrought. It was simply, for lack of a better word, good.