Monsters, Inc. ***
Directed by: Pete Docter, David Silverman, Lee Unkrich
Written by: Dan Gerson and Andrew Stanton
Featuring the voices of: John Goodman, Billy Crystal, James Coburn, Steve Buscemi, Jennifer Tilly and Mary Gibbs
Rated G

Parents – you might want to make sure that your kids don’t read the next sentence. The monster in your closet is REAL.

That monster is big and scary and is gonna make you scream and is gonna keep on doing it until you grow up. Tough. That’s the way it is. But, don’t think that it actually WANTS to scare you. It’s not mean, it’s just doing it’s job. See, that monster works for Monsters, Inc. Monsters, Inc. supplies all the power to Monstropolis, and your screams provide that power. Sadly, you haven’t been doing your job lately. You’re growing up too fast. You don’t scare easily. And, because of that, Monstropolis is in an energy crunch. So, when that big scary monster shows up tonight, make sure that you scream really, really loud. Just don’t touch the monster. Children are toxic. You don’t want to hurt the monster, do you?

You might want to take a quick break and calm your children down now. Reality is tough.

Much like the Toy Story franchise, Monsters, Inc. presents us with a look into a secret world. A world of monsters. Guess what? Those monsters are just like us, but not in a Twilight Zone episode kind of way. More like the going to work, having friends and families kind of way. Unlike most of us, however, the monsters are computer generated.

Synopsis time: Monsters, Inc. is roughly a day in the life of James P. “Sully” Sullivan (Goodman), and his friend Mike Wazowski (Crystal). They’re best friends, roommates, and partners at Monsters, Inc. (“We scare because we care.”) Sully does the actual scare-jobs, while Mike is, for lack of a better term, his crew chief. Mike handles the logistics, the paperwork (poorly), and everything else not involving the actual scaring of the children. Sully is the top scarer in the company, followed closely by Randall Boggs (Buscemi) – a sort-of cross between a gecko, a chameleon and a snake. The head of Monsters, Inc. is Henry J. Waternoose (Coburn), a crab thing. Waternoose is concerned both about the current energy crisis and about the quality of the new scarers. They’re just not all that scary, and tend to be just a little stupid and/or clumsy. Waternoose wants Sully to help train the new recruits, Randall wants to be in first place, and Mike just wants to make Celia (Tilly), a mix between Medusa and a cyclops, his girlfriend. Mike is in a hurry to get on his date with Celia and, once again, forgets to file his paperwork. Sully decides to do it for him. Mike left the paperwork on his desk on the Scarefloor.

Now, the mechanism by which the monsters emerge from a closet is this: a child’s ID card is scanned into a computer. An automated system then summons up the ‘other’ side of the closet door in that child’s bedroom. The door is inserted into a slot on the Scarefloor, power is applied to the door, a storage battery is attached to a receptical next to the door, the monster goes into the door, scares the kid, and comes out. No doors are supposed to be on the Scarefloor after the end of a shift. But, guess what Sully finds? He peeks into the bedroom, to make sure no monsters are present before he shuts the door down (so he doesn’t trap the monster). But, a big problem arises – the little girl (Biggs) that has that closet comes out, and into Monstropolis. This is not good. This is one of the worst things that could happen. And, she really likes Sully, whom she renames Kitty. Her name is Boo, at least according to Sully. Begin wackiness in T minus 3... 2... 1... make audience laugh now!

Overall, Monsters, Inc. is very well done. Then again, it was done by the same people behind the Toy Story franchise and A Bug’s Life. And, it’s certainly in the same vein. The writing is tight, the pacing is perfect, and the characters are entertaining. Most importantly, it won’t make grown-ups stupider or bored. There are times when the movie is a bit dark in tone, but not too much, and certainly not too intense for kids.

As far as the animation goes, well, it’s PIXAR, for the love of pete! It started off as a subsidiary of Industrial Light and Magic. Of course it’s going to be outstanding. However, the competition is tougher in 2001 than it was in the late ‘90s. Square Pictures' Final Fantasy raised the bar considerably in terms of what can be done with computer animation. Sully is a hairy monster. Hair all over. It’s so close to being done right that you can just feel it, but it’s not perfect. It’s not distracting, but it’s not quite perfect. Yet. But, in terms of the light-sourcing and the ‘physics’ that the monsters obey, it’s dead on. Same with the facial expressions. Even though Boo looks like a plastic toy (this could be by design, of course, since it’s intended to be cartoony, while Final Fantasy went for realism), the range of emotions she’s capable of displaying is amazing. Then again, PIXAR was able to make a desk lamp convey emotion (in the groundbreaking Luxo, Jr.). You’re not going to go wrong with seeing Monsters, Inc.

And now, for something completely different: ANOTHER REVIEW!

You might have heard rumors, or even read that Monsters, Inc. will be the only film to feature the Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones ‘teaser’ trailer. You heard right. I saw it, and I’m not saying a thing, cuz I’m a jerk like that.

The opening titles for Monsters, Inc. had a decidedly retro feel to them. The titles are done in a ‘cut-out’ fashion. Not like the kind featured in South Park, but in the mid-‘60s cartoon short-feature sort of way. When you see it, you’ll think of something, but you won’t be able to put a title with what it reminds you of. Unless it does. If you can think of the title, would you let me know? Cuz it’s driving me crazy!

Another thing adds to the retro feel – an animated short before the feature!

For The Birds ***1/2
Directed by: Ralph Eggleston

The ½ star at the end is for the feathers. Jaw-dropping.

I really can’t give a synopsis for a short. It’s birds on a wire. There’s no dialogue, because they’re birds. It’s just really, really funny. Funny in an old slap-stick way, and funny like previous PIXAR short features. You can catch a shortened version of it here. Be warned, however, that it takes quite a while to download, and you need Quicktime to view it.